This week, my boys are enjoying a few days of Sports Camp at the local secondary school. It is the school that big boy will begin just one week from now and small boy is likely to move on up to in 5 years time. They get to choose 4 sports each from a schedule and play all day.
Last Feb, when they did camp for just two days, I felt guilty (no, I cannot explain why) for sending them off. But then I realised, walking them up the hill to camp, how much they were looking forward to it and the “sending them off” was just my negative brain talk, not reality at all; piling unnecessary guilt on myself. I let the bad vibes go that very moment as it was only me walking up the hill… the boys were skipping, running, bouncing with excitement, like energetic puppies, raring to go.
This week, I decided that the hours they were playing (badminton, football, table tennis, cycling, basketball, multi-sports… the list goes on), I would do things for myself. The the first couple of days this meant blogging (oh, I do love to write) and emailing my newsletter out. As well as this face to screen time, there was washing (still playing catch up from our time away), tidying, cleaning to do, but as the house gets in order, so does my mind. By Wednesday afternoon, rain emptying from the heavens, I was craving human contact and needed to get out.
Most people may have remained indoors during such a torrential downpour (would you?), but I felt that I needed a change of scenery, so I put on a pretty necklace, pulled on my waterproof trousers, layered up with jumper and coat and went out. On such a day as this, I thought, I need to be with people. It does not matter if we do not talk, but I want that feeling of being with people. Do you get that at all? Much of my time is spent at home… I am introvert, so it suits me well, but then I get to the point where I crave human company and interaction, even if it’s just a hello and a smile. On such a day as this, I thought, a little independent café I like nearby may be grateful for customers, so I drove up to Em’s Coffee, favourite pens and sketchbook in my bag and sat for a short while drawing and enjoying some wholesome food and a good green drink (their Popeye contains spinach, pineapple, lemon, apple and is totally deeelish!). I am certain I coped much better (with bouncing boys and trouble with locks and altered plans) in the afternoon than I would have had I not done this.
I also did a little reading there. The Kindle app on my phone has made such a difference to my reading patterns (they were erratic to say the least and now regular) as I have a book with me at all times (on my phone). My current read is Life Loves You by Robert Holden and Louise Hay. Much of what I am reading is not new, but it is written in a different way.*(1) I am moved by the writing, their approach, their relationship. The premise of the book is that life doesn’t just happen to you; it happens for you. By loving yourself and treating yourself with kindness and compassion, you are open to receiving all of the goodness that the Universe provides.
This morning, I decided to do a little experiment. Well, perhaps not an experiment as such; I just made a simple decision to be super-kind to myself and see what happened. Waking early with my love beside me was a good start. He and his son (who had come for a visit) left early as workmen were expected at their home in an hour. My boys came in to my bedroom for cuddles and breakfast consisted of coffee, cereal and bacon sarnie. I took a photo of my coffee. The milk swirling through it looked so beautiful. Puzzled by my decision to photograph a cup of coffee, the boys peered in too. Thus began a game of “What can we see in my coffee”, which may now become a family tradition… a grey day equivalent of cloud spotting. There was a vulture, a squirrel, a swan… I could go on, but I think you get the picture!
Dropping the boys off at club, I bent to stroke a small dog and engaged in conversation with the owner. It turned out that the family had just moved back to London from Spain and that the daughter would be in my son’s class at school. We exchanged numbers, I gave Mum and dog a lift home (yes, it was still raining) and it felt good to have made (what I hope will become) another friend.
With a list, I headed to the shops, made an impromptu phone call to a friend to invite her son for tea and a sleepover (they said yes), called another friend and invited her and her girls for tea and play (she said yes too… hurrah, adult company!) and came out with enough food for us all and a bunch of flowers for me. Two actually – one pink; one purple.
Next stop was my brother’s house. The shower hose at home was broken and had been getting gradually worse, but being showered with water myself this morning when trying to shower my son prompted a trip to B&Q for a new one. Before that, I popped in on my brother. He gifted me a new shower head. I hadn’t even thought about replacing the shower head, but my having experienced this one at a friend’s house, he had asked where he got it an ordered one online, but did not fit his bathroom. Lucky me! I picked up a new hose from the shop and fitted both this and the new shower head as soon as I got home and now instead of a leaking dribble, we have what feels like a new power shower!
On returning home, a letter awaited me. Hand written in ink, expressing gratitude for my website and gifts; something I would never have anticipated.
And all of this before midday! Yes, life loves me.
Many other little things sparked joy in me this morning… coincidences (?), lucky parking spaces, receiving too little change in one shop, letting it go and receiving too much in the next, etc., but I realise this post is already rather long, so I will close with a question: What can you do today to love yourself more? Love life; Life LOVES You!
*1. If you have something you want to share with the world, but the feeling that someone else has already done it, please don’t let that stop you. Whatever you have to share will be presented by you in a way that is different to the way anyone else has presented it before. It will likely resonate and touch someone when they hear (that information/story/whatever it is you are sharing) from you in a way they have not previously received it. There is also the fact that we often need to hear things more than once before we take action. Your voice could be the one that helps someone.
p.s. If you enjoyed this post, the greatest favour you could do me would be to share it with anyone you feel would benefit. It is in sharing that we know we are not alone. Thank you. x
p.p.s. If you decide to make a purchase through my links, Amazon will pay me a small commission for it. This doesn’t cost you anything additional and I only every recommend books or items I have tried, tested and personally believe in.